Well. Let's start with this tough words.
I wish I could be the first. Actually I just wish I could be there with you. But that it's just sometimes, you know.
I wish I could be the first to lay down with you on your new bed or be the first to make breakfast and take care of you there. I just wish I could take care of you. To make sure you're feeling home and safe. To explore new places with you in this new old town. To create spots and memories with you. I wish I could be the first and only to do that. I wish you could love me back. I just wish to be wished. To create a home where there is only you and me. I wish I could be the first to take your hand and go for a walk and see the lights of this city reflected through your eyes. I wish I could be there sitting and smoking a cigarette while I wait you take a bath for us to go to a party that a colleague of your work invited us to go. I wish I could feel the nervous you felt in your stomach when you saw the plane going to your destination through the window. I wish I could be your anchor in that fucking moment just for you to be smiling and get the sure that was missing in your heart about leaving everything behind. It's hard not to be the chosen one. But it's something that makes you grow and get mature and stuff. I wish I could be there to tell you how proud I am of you cooking your own meal. It's so weird...
I wish I could be there to see you cry when you miss your family and give you a huge hug to calm you down. I wish I could be there for the cold days and take the blanket all for me in a rude way while sleeping. I wish I could meet you during lunch to talk about the day. Your day. I wish I could be your safe spot. But you've broken all the promises and I have loved you just the same. Like a fool. I wish I could wake up there with you...
But that it's just sometimes... You know
